Men, listen to this: You gotta pick older women, ‘coz… ‘coz…

Aww, just watch this vid! It’s so cute!

A true story: An employee of my dad asked if he could borrow some money. Of course, my dad asked why. And the employee replied:

I’m really sorry, sir, but my wife is almost due [in her pregnancy], and I’m kinda short on cash. I don’t know what to do…

My dad said that salary was due to be given in a few days. The amount would be more than enough to take care of his wife’s pregnancy. But the employee still asked for more money. My dad was pissed off, and demanded for an explanation. And the employee replied:

But I have two wives, sir…

Moral of the story: If you can’t afford it, don’t get a mistress. If you worry about expenses, remember that you’re not Hugh Hefner, whether you like it or not. So just stick to your wife. Or don’t get married at all.

Side-note: Nonetheless, being rich doesn’t give you an excuse to get a mistress. Bottom line is, if you can’t stick to one, don’t get a wife, get a fuck-buddy. There are plenty of fuck-buddies goin’ around, you know.

Acting as your pet hamster’s “gym trainer” will not only contribute to your hamster’s physical health and well-being, but will also encourage the bond between pet and trainer. Common household materials can be used to motivate your hamster to exercise. You need only the following:

• a hamster wheel
• a pencil
• a sewing kit

Place your hamster on the hamster wheel. While the hamster is running, tie a sewing needle to the blunt end of your pencil using yarn or thread (as shown in the figure). When your hamster is showing signs of lag, gently spur its butt using the needle. Continue until you are too tired to go on.

Get a special gift for that special woman in your life! Instead of the usual (boring) chocolates and roses, why not give her a present that she’ll surely appreciate deep in her heart? Why not get her a PlayGirl 2008 Wall Calendar?

Playgirl Magazine features 12 scorching hot male bods in its Stud Zone 2008 calendar. Yup, that’s one yummy-licious dude for her to feast her eyes on every month of the year, and I’m sure (no matter what she says ‘coz your daddy is around) she’ll love you for it!

Check it out on MegaCalendars.

This is how Oprah sounds like when she has the flu. And that’s how Josh Groban would sound like when he gets a vasectomy.

Ooohhh… you really know how to shake it, you cute little pussies… Oh yeah…